I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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