Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
