id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
