just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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