You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
