It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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