Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
