Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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