i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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