did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
