Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
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