Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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