i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The Olympian is in my bed
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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