meet me or not, i'm out of control
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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