its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
