Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
