This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize