well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize