I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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