I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
