it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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