I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
