Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
