How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
false alarm. still invincible.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
