Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
