So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize