I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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