ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
