I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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