remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
