People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
