I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
