I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this will be a night to untag.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
