You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
