Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
one two three fourrrrnication!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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