Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize