He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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