I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
