Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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