Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Alive.
So much puke
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
