Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
