I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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