If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
