Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
