Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
