I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
