I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
