remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
