I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
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