Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
