worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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