i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
