is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize