:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
