Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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