its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
