How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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