You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
