Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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