she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
