You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
