O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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