did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
