thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
