whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
